While I once traveled the nation by thumb power, I've become a hypocrite during my advancing (or are they declining?) years, and never offer rides to hitchhikers. With the exception of roadside pedestrians making kayak shuttles or carrying gas cans to or from disabled cars, my policy on hitchhiking is pretty much thumbs down - and while you're at it, stay off my yard!
But there's a hitchhiker who hit the road in Massachusetts last week that I wouldn't hesitate to stop for, should our paths cross somewhere along the nation's highway grid. It's Hitchbot, the hitchhiking robot - the result of a collaboration between researchers at two Canadian universities.
Science fiction is rife with stories about whether robots can be trusted by humans (spoiler alert: usually not), but Hitchbot's creators want to learn more about whether people can be trusted to care for, and respond favorably to, robots.
So far, the experiment has gone well for Hitchbot and its handlers. The free-spirited robot recently completed a 6,000-mile hitchhiking tour of its homeland and has traveled through much of Germany and Holland, as well. Hitchbot has traveled with a heavy metal band, participated in a wedding, attended a comic convention, had its portrait painted and been included in thousands of selfies with its human traveling companions.
The robot is anything but threatening. It stands about three feet tall, with a torso that resembles a kerosene space heater topped by a digital screen face programmed to illuminate two eyes and a grin. At the ends of the robot's blue plastic arms, yellow gardening gloves are attached that match similarly colored rubber boots. To help record its travels and keep its handlers in the loop, Hitchbot has been outfitted with cameras, a microphone and speaker system, along with GPS and 3G capabilities.
It has a limited vocabulary, which some travelers could find off-putting, depending on how repetitive it is, but on the other hand, Hitchbot, unlike some human hitchhikers I've encountered, won't be voicing any bizarre political or social theories, recounting anecdotes from prison, hitting you up for traveling money, or smoking - unless a circuit gets overloaded.
After Hitchbot was dropped off along the side of a highway near Marblehead, Massachusetts, on Friday, with a sign reading "San Francisco or Bust!" wrapped around its head, it was soon picked up - by a pair of German tourists. Hopefully, the Germans are headed for points south, although I would advise steering Hitchbot clear of Texas to avoid the conspiracy frenzy now underway there now that Operation Jade Helm is underway. The little guy might get mistaken as part of a cyborg army dispatched by Obama to confiscate firearms or serve as greeters at FEMA-repurposed Wal-Marts.
If Hitchbot makes it to West Virginia, I feel confident it would get a warm welcome - provided no recyclable copper wiring is visible. But the best chance for West Virginians to share a ride with the robot will probably come when they are on vacation.
Posted on its Facebook page near the top of a 16-item "bucket list" of stops Hitchbot hopes to make on its U.S. hitchhiking tour, right below "Pose With the Lincoln Statue" in Washington, is the following entry:
"Tan at Myrtle Beach, SC."
If you see Hitchbot there, apply enough oil to keep its rusting in check, and say hi for me.