We all grew up knowing about IQ. Then, several years ago, we started hearing a lot about EQ - Emotional Intelligence - with some researchers even claiming it's as important in predicting an individual's success as the Intelligence Quotient.
Not to be confused with the fast food chain, another indicator has emerged in the form of DQ - Deserve Quotient. While not as widely referenced as IQ or EQ, the concept of Deserve Quotient is the subject of a book, "You Deserve the Best," by psychotherapist Pat Pearson.
To get an idea of your DQ, check out the following quiz.
n I believe I can have the material things I want.
1. Never
2. Almost never
3. Sometimes
4. Most of the time
5. Always
n I believe I can have a good, loving relationship.
1. Never
2. Almost never
3. Sometimes
4. Most of the time
5. Always
n I feel lovable and capable of loving others.
1. Never
2. Almost never
3. Sometimes
4. Most of the time
5. Always
n I feel I can produce and perform well at my job or career.
1. Never
2. Almost never
3. Sometimes
4. Most of the time
5. Always
n I would rate my love life:
1. Very low satisfaction
2. Medium low satisfaction
3. Medium satisfaction
4. Medium high satisfaction
5. High satisfaction
n I would rate my work life (income, work climate, liking of my job):
1. Very low satisfaction
2. Medium low satisfaction
3. Medium satisfaction
4. Medium high satisfaction
5. High satisfaction
n I would rate my social contacts and friends:
1. Very low satisfaction
2. Medium low satisfaction
3. Medium satisfaction
4. Medium high satisfaction
5. High satisfaction
n I feel capable of getting what I desire from life:
1. Never
2. Almost never
3. Sometimes
4. Most of the time
5. Always
n My parents believe/believed I'm a worthwhile, competent and lovable person:
1. Never
2. Almost never
3. Sometimes
4. Most of the time
5. Always
Add up the numbers of the answers you circled.
Below 20 Points - Low Deserve Level
You don't truly believe you can have much in your life. Take a serious look at changing your thoughts and the statements you make to yourself about who you are and what life holds. You may want to get some counseling; your beliefs about yourself are stopping you from prosperity.
21-30 Points - Moderate Deserve Level
You believe you deserve some of life's rewards, though you block the full attainment of these good feelings and events. Some directed imagery and positive visualization of your desired outcomes would certainly move you forward.
32-43 Points - Higher Deserve Level
You are more consistently in line with your positive beliefs of yourself and the world. Keep up the good work.
44 or Higher - Very High Deserve Level
You are being/doing most everything right. You are probably enjoying many benefits from your participation in life.
Did any of your answers surprise you? You may view yourself as more deserving in some categories than others. While you may consciously think you deserve more, you're prone to fears and subconscious thoughts that may result in self-sabotage.
If you fear rejection, you may reject yourself first. If you fear abandonment, you'll likely abandon first. And you could abandon yourself as well as someone else. If you don't confront and resolve your fears, the fears win. The first step in mastering fear and raising your Deserve Quotient is to understand your Sabotage Strategies.
n Resignation. "Deep down I don't believe I deserve it, so I won't even go after it. I don't like to get my hopes up. Then, if I don't get it, it won't hurt so much."
n Throwing it away. "I get it, and then, because I don't believe I deserve it, I blow it."
n Settling. "I want it, but I don't believe I'm good enough; so I'll settle for less."
Denial. "I won't pay any attention to this problem. It will just go away."
n The Fatal Flaw. People who use this strategy may elevate themselves by taking all the right steps but have a crucial personality problem - perfectionism, short temper, excessive drinking, overwhelming guilt - that undoes all their best efforts.
The crucial cornerstone of changing your unconscious sabotage is to become more aware of your internal Deserve Quotient. Once you understand what has been outside your conscious awareness, then - and only then - do you have a chance to change.
Beliefs are like icebergs. What sticks up into conscious awareness comprises only about 10 percent of your total belief system. A full 90 percent of your beliefs remain unconscious to your walking-around self - until you go looking for them.
This all boils down to two principles, according to author Pearson:
n Energy follows thought. Ever have one of those days when everything seems to go wrong? If you stay in the negative energy, your energy will follow your thoughts; and you'll create the same pattern over and over.
n Whatever you think about expands. What you focus on is what you get more of in life. This is the basis for worrying. You worry about money, and everything seems to drain your resources. You worry about health, and every ache seems terminal.
A couple of animated characters bring these principles to life. Charlie Brown's little sister, Sally, has no problem with her DQ, as evidenced by her overflowing Santa list in the "Peanuts" Christmas special: "All I want is my fair share. All I want is what's coming to me."
On the flipside, consider the "Star Wars" exchange between the young Jedi knight, Luke Skywalker, and his sage mentor, Yoda. "I don't believe it, " says Skywalker. "And that is why you fail," says Yoda.
©2015, "Linda Arnold Living Well," all rights reserved. Linda Arnold, M.A., M.B.A., is a syndicated columnist, psychological counselor, certified wellness instructor and keynote speaker. She is also the Founder and former CEO of a multistate marketing company. Reader comments are welcome at linda@linda arnold.org